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Diary Entry:


 Maybe all this is the party

I feel like the typical teen drama centers around some pivotal moment in the character’s young lives. THIS party or THIS dance; this is it, our lives will be forever changed. This is the end of the movie where everything falls into place and is resolved. And so I've always had that impossibly hopeful ideation that i’d have that moment too, one day.

But then I got to thinking, that’s it? Just this one moment will solve it all and then you coast through the rest of your life in a plateau? Or is it just the peak and it gets worse from there? Now I’ve always had a pretty dark imagination; always fantasizing about the worst case scenario. And I've come to believe that literally everything is a disappointment. That nothing will EVER live up to any set of expectations, it’ll never be exactly how it is in your head. 

(and maybe that’s a good thing, since I always think of the worst).

So the fantastical party in my head, ends in death. Or an attempt. Because I can’t figure out how it can get any better if that is (hypothetically) the best thing to ever happen to me. It’s like I'll be surrounded by literally everyone I care about or have some sort of attachment to. Its like redemption for all my failures and revenge against everyone against me. Its having everything I could ever want materially, financially, socially. I would mean something to everyone. I would be 100% totally and completely satisfied with everything. But at the back of my mind, I know myself. I don’t think I've ever really known true happiness or content. So would I actually find it there? Would it last? At the peak of it all, surrounded by everything, that’s where I would silently slip off to the bathroom, alone, and end it all. To keep everything frozen in time. 

Its kinda like how you shouldn’t meet your hero because its just gonna be a let down. Getting what you thought you always wanted might end up being a let down.

Maybe all this is the party

Maybe the tears and the highs we breathe

Maybe all this is the party

Maybe we just do it violently

(I'm still disappointed)



Miami’s Underground: An In Depth Look At the 305’s Next Generation of Creators

Submitted by Gabriela Gratereaux

Miami, Florida: well known for its sandy beaches, tourist vibe, and tropical environment. With lots to do and see, it’s pretty hard to miss the strong community vibe that you’ll find everywhere in this enormous city. More and more each day this diverse city is constantly inspiring individualism in adolescents and young adults. Since the late 70's, the 305 (Miami’s area code) community of art lovers has been hosting successful underground shows displaying different  types of art forms. But lately, more and more youngsters seem to be taking on the role of establishing complicated underground events for their peers to display their work, perform, and have a good time with other fellow artists. Most underground artists are usually part of individualistic or collective endeavors that represent a particular movement or have an underlying theme to benefit the common good like politics, freedom of expression, etc. Some of Miami's youngest and ambitious creators answered a few questions on what it means to be a young artist in Miami.


“I’m happy to be part of the local artist community in Miami, everyone is very supportive and nice so far! I'm excited to see what the future holds for all of us since we all have so many opportunities to grow.”

-Isabella Desbiollles, 20, photographer

“To me being a local artist in miami gives me passion and motivation. Miami is a place blooming with creative artists. Miami offers a lot.”

-Thomas Fonseca, 18, photographer and filmmaker

+ Do you think of yourself as more of a local artist or an underground artist, sticking to a certain philosophy and a movement?

“Well, I’d like to consider myself more of a leader of a movement that’s soon to expand past Miami. UNCOMMONKIND has members in Atlanta, Africa, Canada, and Los Angeles. Right now I’m more underground than local because I’m not really trying to stay local forever, you know? I believe my philosophy, when it comes to creating and existing in general: is that through my art, I’m constantly evolving myself and having my knowledge about the universe grow through that understanding of myself.”

-Julian Ocean Gomez, 15, visual artist, co-creator and member of art collective group UNCOMMONKIND


“I think of myself as more of an underground artist since I’m just beginning to showcase my work and underground goes more with my style anyway.”

-Valencia Bellot, 17, fashion designer, creator of Swankemon



+ How long have you been doing music/art? And how does Miami affect you and what you create?


“I’ve been doing art ever since I discovered my own personal style and I’m now branching out with my brand entitled ‘Swankemon’ so that’s really cool. Miami hasn’t really affected the work that I do because I find my inspirations through New York 90s hip hop and that’s what I grew up on but I definitely see local artists striving in Miami, whether its music, art, photography, design its for sure coming up and it’s cool being surrounded by people who have similar interests and just seeing Miami grow artistically is dope.”

-Valencia Bellot, 17


“I first learned how to start making songs on the ukulele and then transferred them to the guitar so when I got a classical guitar in the eighth grade, I started playing music and then in 9th grade my first band was ‘The Ruffans’ with the homie Ramon and some other homies and it was pretty fun. Then I started making music with Luis and that’s what we’ve been doing ever since so we’ve gone through three band names together. First Terramar, Paul Metto, and now Deux Pooch, and it’s just been a lot of fluctuating band members until now.”

-Gabriel Garlin, 21, musician, lead guitarist and vocals for indie rock band Deux Pooch


Are they any certain struggles you feel come with being a local artist?


“There is definitely a large community of artists and musicians who are under appreciated and are trying to make stuff happen to change that. A big thing for us is that we don’t have a social media presence and so we really only exist by word of mouth really so people that don’t know us don’t book us so we just play at a lot of homie events and just play less shows in general than other bands who maybe have a social media presence. For Deux Pooch we’ve been just holding off on it until we master the sounds we want in our music and also until we record stuff.”

-Luis Velasco, 21, musician, drummer for indie rock band Deux Pooch


“A struggle I feel like it is being a local artist is that there can be a lot of people who treat the scene like it’s competition and don’t remember art is about spreading the love. At events like pop up shows there can be this really bad vibe and it’s something I try to diffuse by spreading love”

-Dylan E. Somerville Hall, 19


"Being a local artist in such an artistic community is hard. Especially in photography, because anyone can pick up a camera and start taking photos (since in art is everything is valid). It is important to be authentic and to find a style that characterizes your work. That's something I'm still looking for today. Also, I was never surrounded by local artists, or young aspiring artists and I never grew up among them. I went to a very small high school in Coral Gables and no one really shared my passion so it's been really hard to move within the community with my art."


“Yeah. When it comes to my craft, which has a focus on fashion it’s quite hard to get people to go out of their comfort zone and purchase stuff that isn’t from a brand they know. I’ve had success with it though which is why I continue doing what I do. But if I have to be honest, a lot of people I know get disheartened by that fact and just stop producing work overall. But that doesn’t faze me as much, it certainly is a struggle, but not as bad as the one I have with myself and my constant need to be perfect and have everything look “right” in my own eyes. I am my own worst critic and it’s been very tough to enjoy my own work without looking at all the faults in it which has caused me to procrastinate often. Yet I carry on and it has made me stronger because I don’t get comfortable or have a huge ego about my art. So yes. Always make sure to love your work, but never stay too comfortable. Be on the lookout for improvement.”

-Kevin Gold, 20


“I do believe there are some struggles in being a small local artists as of right now, which is just the amount of time and effort it takes to really get where I’m trying to go. I have very very big goals, I’m really trying to shift the worlds consciousness to a point where I can save society in a way. Us as a society, are constantly distracted by entertainment to hide the fact that we are slaves to this nation.”

-Julian Ocean Gomez, 15


+ What does it mean to you to be a local artist in a thriving community like Miami?

"As if I'm in a time machine, the atmosphere and utter rawness of the Miami scene I'm apart of is definitely reminiscent of New York in the early 1980's. The space is so fresh and open to new ideas and ways of expression. It hasn't been commercialized to the point of tourism in Wynwood (a widely known part of the Design District in Miami), and I can say for a fact that the people of Miami rule the scene here. It's truly a beautiful thing watching it grow and prosper."

-Kevin Gold, 20, “BASTRALOX”, fashion designer, creator of clothing brand and collective Near Miss, member of art collective group UNCOMMONKIND


“Miami is a place full of open minded people, having a community like this makes it a lot easier to connect with other artists and collaborate. More people respect what you’re doing and see the vision.”

-Dionnys Moran,19, fashion designer, creator of clothing brand Chatnoir, member of art collective group UNCOMMONKIND

“We would say we are in the midst of trying to move out of just being a local artist to an underground artist, kind of try to spread our wave of music past Miami.”

-Hometown Losers, late teens & early 20s, emo-punk band


“I think of myself as an underground artist as I don't follow any movement but just my creativity and feelings which make my pictures one hundred percent me!”

-Isabella Desbiollles, 20

“I started dancing at a young age when my mom would put albums on, my whole high school career I’ve participated in the Miami Beach Senior High rock ensemble as the rapper, I’ve danced in the dance team, and did poetry as well. Miami affects me in a way that if I didn’t have Beach High, and the opportunities it has, I wouldn’t have continued doing what I love. There’s so much love in Miami and in the art scene, there can be lots of hate too, but if I wasn’t here I don’t know where I would be right now.”

-Dylan E. Somerville Hall,19, rapper, poet, dancer


“If I have to be honest. I started when I was very young but I hated doing it. I struggled with feelings of doubt and insecurity with art for a long time. Until a couple years back, let’s say almost 4 years ago, I got extremely serious about it because I realized that I used to doodle and draw things all the time, and had no other interest in anything else. So I stopped going against my destiny and decided to actually follow the path in life that has always been there for me, instead of standing at the crossroads, blank eyed and terrified of my future. In essence, I found that light in my life and I follow it to this day. My future has never been brighter, if I must say. The people I’ve met in Miami affect my work more than anything. Being surrounded with the friends I have made from UNCOMMONKIND has certainly pushed me farther than I ever could have gone by myself. I actually made it a goal of mine to become part of a group because I know I can’t do it all alone, and it’s just unwise to not be part of a movement when you’re an artist. The melancholic, lone wolf stereotype is so romanticized but it’s quite incorrect. It’s pointless to work in complete solitude forever, you need to be part of something, experience how others create, and interact with them. There’s no other way to grow as an artist. Although, there must be a balance, give time to yourself and your craft, do not force yourself to be motivated by others. It must come from inside you. Working with other people is just a benefit. It shouldn’t rule your creativity.”

- Kevin Gold “BASTRALOX”, 20




Do you see local art taking over the city in the future? And if you do, how do you feel about that?

“I do see local art taking over the city in the future because I see it happening now! I feel really blessed to be able to be a part of this thriving and creative community full of dope people.”

-Isabella Desbiollles, 20


“I definitely do see Miami growing as a hot spot for artists to become recognized, thanks to XXXTENTACION and a few others, and I’m planning to make the best out of that without selling out and being like every other artist, I believe in one of the most original artists out of the people I know, and I make sure to surround myself with people just like that, who are who they are and stay true to themselves.”

-Julian Ocean Gomez, 15


“I do see local art taking over the city, I think it’s beautiful that people put their vision out there. Art is a form of expression, it feels like the foreign minds of Miami are all speaking.”

-Ale, photographer



“One of my few struggles I go through as a local artist is getting out there and coming out of my shell and show people what I can create. Like with everything in life, there is always going to be people that like what you create or not . But I can't let the negative opinions affect how I feel about my work.”

-Isabella Desbiollles, 20


“In terms of struggles in being a local artist would be trying to stick out in the crowd because with a scene that’s up and coming it makes it harder to stick out and show what we can offer.  We try to have music that relates to people that feel like they don’t have a voice and just try our best to make people feel alive. We would be nothing without our fans and this amazing community! I mean at the end of they day we are just a bunch of losers haha.”

-Hometown Losers, emo-punk band


“There’s definitely a lot of struggles being a local artist, I don’t have all the resources that other people in the fashion industry have so it isn’t that easy, but that makes it so much better when I succeed.”

-Dionnys Moran,19



Our artist interviews collectively agreed that Miami has had a huge influence on how they grew as people/artists and how they get inspired. With all of these youngsters fresh out of high school, in the midst of college, or still in high school, the future is bright with their drive and many opportunities thanks to the art scene in this iconic city. From touring the states in bands, to going national in magazines and art galleries, the 305 will always make their hometown proud.


Gabriela Gratereaux, 17, is a female multi-media artist hailing from Miami Beach, Florida. Most of her work is inspired by her city’s atmosphere and environment. She has been published in Lithium Magazine, Creeper Magg, Pinstriped Magazine and others for her work capturing the feeling of what it means to be young and experimenting with color theory in her films and photography. You can contact her through email and check out some of her other work on her Instagram, Twitter, and Youtube.

All Photos are taken from the artists' instagrams and are linked to their sources

This is just a lil photo diary taken over the past year or so. I wasn't necessarily in the best headspace and looking back I think the flat loneliness of the pictures kind of reflected my state of being at the time. 


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Photos taken on Minolta 35 mm, holga digital, and the various phones ive had and broken throughout this time....

Dear My Past Self,

Hey there. There are many things I wish to tell you, but with the way our mind works, I’m not sure if I’ll be able to write it in the way I want to. So bear with me. Right now I know your social life seems like it means everything, but trust me when I say this, it’s not. It’s cliché, but friends will come and definitely go. And I want to remind you that it’s okay if people leave. Sometimes it’s better that way, and you’re able to evolve and grow as a person because of it. I really wish I took the advice of being by myself rather than be with a group of people that make me feel inferior. I would’ve been better off in the long run.

 Comparing yourself to other girls is destroying the beautiful image you have created of yourself. It’s a subconscious habit that you’ve developed over time, but I know you will be able to break the cycle one day. As of right now (as an eighteen-year-old), it’s still an ingrained system in my mind; I put myself down with a joke or comment before I even realize it. It’s a one-step at a time process that feels more like a one-step forward and two-steps back process, but I know someday we’ll get there. It’s still uncomfortable to hear compliments, and it’s easy to put yourself down. However, one step at a time.

 I feel like I’m writing down a bunch of clichés, but I feel like I need to write it all out. I’ve been feeling all sorts of different emotions lately, and I really need to let it all out. I can’t write it in my journal for some reason.

There is a fine line between laziness and lack of motivation from depression. I am not sure where I cross the line because I have not been diagnosed with depression (I still need to see a therapist). I feel like I’m stuck in between the two stigmatized ideas. There’s a lot of grey area in the place that I’m in. I want time to speed up, so I can go home and start working on things I care a lot more about, but I know I should be taking everything in as I go because I don’t know how much time I have to live (which makes me sound like I have a terminal disease – I don’t). My brain is overworking itself with ever changing thoughts that don’t ever seem to shut up. It’s fixated on whether or not this current feeling is okay. If this feeling is “normal” or “not normal.” And then suddenly it stops. It seems like I have no thoughts at all because I feel dazed, like everything is moving in slow motion. I know everything else is going normal speed, but I feel like I’m going in slow motion. I’m not taking life in. I’m wasting my life on technological façades and stretchy pants. My mind is numb, but it works like a maniac. How can a paradox like this exist? How does a paradox like this live?



It doesn’t.


My mind is a pipe bomb, counting down the seconds until the sporadic moment I combust. I’m afraid of all those that’ll be left in the wreckage. I’m afraid.


It’s funny how I experience similar symptoms to depression and anxiety, and yet I still have the audacity to tell myself that I can survive college for another semester. I’m convincing myself that my feelings are invalid and that I can suck it up, finish, and move onward. But I can’t. I’ve held these emotions for too long, and now it’s become a huge monster facing towards me.


I want to smash this computer up. I want to get a sledgehammer and break it up to pieces because I am so angry at myself. How can I be so selfish to have these feelings when there are people dying in third world countries due to starvation and poverty? How can I be so lucky and unlucky? I am grateful for all that I have, but sometimes I just… I don’t want to be here. Sometimes I want to put my hands around my neck and squeeze as tightly as I can until I pass out. Other times I just want to disappear without a word.


I can distract myself from my thoughts by movies and music. But it’s a temporary fix that made me into an addict for distraction. I join fandoms. I find new music. I write my feelings. But nothing works.


It’s official. I’m going insane. I need to leave, but I can’t even make it out of bed.


            -Anonymous, Female, 18